Monday, April 19, 2010

Kickin' It Cultural Wise

Almost nothing says YUMMY like a weekend of cinematic violence, vehicular destruction and sugar overload. Friday I checked out the movie Kick-Ass, on Saturday I went to the Monster Truck Spectacular and then I finished up the weekend by cramming bucket loads of maple syrup covered food into my sugary pie-hole at a sugar shack. The weekend was loud, visually active and smothered in maple bacon. Throw in a barcalounger and some naked chicks and I think it would have been a glimpse into heaven.
I won't go into a review of the movie, instead I'll just say that it was kick-ass ... ... ... HA HA HA HA ... ... ... HA HA HA ... ... ... HA HA ... ... ... HA ... ... ... H ... ... ...A ..............

This next few lines are gonna be of the homer variety.

The Monster Truck Spectacular took place at the Olympic Stadium with an attendance of 45,000 and some change. The predominant gender attending the event was obviously male but I will say the ladies did fill enough of the seats to make it noteworthy. Looking around me at the various members of the audience in my section, I noticed a grand showing made by the tramp stamp and the mulletish hair style. Now supposing that say 1/4 of the attendance was female, and then throw in some + or - and % calculations and crap, I would say that there was about 8000 tramp stamps and about 20000 mullet or mullet-like hair helmets. With a supposed average tramp stamp size of 32 square inches and an average mullet area of 64 square inches, that would make 256,000 square inches of tramp stamp and 1,280,000 square inches of mullet in attendance. Or I could have completely fucked up the calculations...

Another thing I noticed was that the Canadian national anthem was sung entirely in French. Something I've got to admit I’d never heard before. Like everyone, I've heard it sung in both official languages, but WOW, no English whatsoever. I couldn't sing along to the back half of the song 'cause my hearing, understanding and singing at the same time talents seemed to have diminished for some reason.

Bacon, maple syrup and other stuff that's filler ... Stuff in face ... Repeat until nausea ensues...

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