Thursday, March 4, 2010

The Silence Of The Sheep

In an effort to do my part for public good I feel it is my duty to inform everyone about the horrible scourge that inflicts many an innocent movie-goer.
Scooch Turf Tear Syndrome or STTS
There you are 20 minutes into the movie and feeling the need for a position change. How simple it will be just to scooch down a little and get more comfortable. Then... Whammo.

PAIN... The kind that is delivered by the gods. Somehow and at some time parts of your nether-turf became entangled in your bloomers only to be torn out upon execution of the scooch like dandelions being yanked from a pristine lawn.
There you sit, eyes filled with tears, movie forgotten, groin on fire and worst of all, you can't scream out.
And folks, it is a lingering pain, making the movie a very secondary concern .... pretty much there went ten bucks plus treats.

STTS is silent, unexpected and indiscriminate, striking any (except maybe Brazilians) like a killer whale on an unsuspecting trainer.

Be warned, movie-scooch with caution.

1 comment:

  1. Scooch, is that like the baunch, or taint, or choad?

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