Friday, February 5, 2010

If They Get Thumbs We're All Dead

While rummaging a few odds and ends type stories I came across this one:

Hunter Shot By Dog Broke Key Safety Rule

So I kept looking and I found a couple more:

Hunter Shot Dead By Dog

Oregon Man Shot By Dog Recovers

Dog Probably Responsible For Shotgun Blast That Injured Owner

 I began to notice a scary pattern ... all of the perpetrators were Labrador Retrievers ...
People may call these occurences accidents... I call them test runs.
While they seem to be spending their days chasing stuff, licking their privates etc., in reality they're watching and learning, biding their time.  Knowing that they are the #1 breed of family dog, they're just waiting until we decide to genetically engineer them with opposable thumbs ( seems like the next logical step after seeing all the beer fetching dogs in those Budweiser commercials).  Then they'll strike.  The hunters will be first, then mailmen and stupid children until finally they will rule the top of the food chain.  The Earth will be renamed Labradoria... mark my words.

My Yellow Lab just got herself some nervous respect and a steak.

I just won't let her near the computer anymore...


  1. I've seen your lab. She's a monster. A wild, "I'm going to use a shotgun on your ass" monster. I nearly poop myself every time she barks.

  2. As long as purebred Labs are running the show and not crossbred bull terriers, I'm good with it.