Thursday, December 16, 2010

What I Did On My Winter Evening

Let us see ... hmmm ...ah, yes ... here we go ...

It was a dark and stormy night ... and I finally managed to wrestle the friggin' huge 'real Christmas tree' into the house and got it placed in the living room.  Wrestle being the key word.  Hoooo crap, that thing was heavy.  We went for the 'cultivated', more filled in tree instead of the wild variety'cause everyone agreed that it was 'prettier'. (also more tree for the buck, I'll admit)
More wood = more weight.  It felt like trying to carry a feisty, pine scented fat-chick over the threshold ...
When we picked out the tree, on the weekend, it looked like a beautiful, normal sized, awesome (the kids loved it) perfect tree.  Sitting in my living room, it's fucking freakishly huge ... In the dark, it kinda looks like some sort of bigfoot hiding out in the corner waiting to pounce (that could be just me after having to fight with it).
First it was the lights.  You know, one of the practical things about having a fake tree is that after a while you get to know exactly how many strings of lights, garland and etc. are gonna go on the tree because, lets face it, nothing size-wise changes from one year to the next.  My puzzler definitely got puzzled trying to figure out where all the 8 strings of lights were gonna go on my new super-sized monster tree.
Then I had to decorate the 'thing'.  Ok, no ... the family and I decorated it ... except that I put all the stuff on the top half of the tree 'cause nobody else can reach that high. And yes, there I was, standing tippy-toed (emphasis on the tippy) on a step ladder hugging the pine scented fat-chick trying to wrap a wonderful necklace of ribbon around its lovely pine-sap-sticky neck, over and over again.

It all seems like you have a nice moderate amount of decorations when you're bringing up the boxes from their hiding places in the basement buuuttt ... once they are opened and spread out all over the living room ... it's easy to realize that " shit be way outta control " and " fuck we've got way too much of this shit".  For some reason 2 trips with boxes of decorations coming up from the basement seems to turn into 4 trips in returning said empty boxes and packages back down into the basement.

Another thing that crazy huge trees have is crazy huge amounts of pine needles that fall off at the slightest touch.  The whole dragging it through the front door thing added like a foot of 'confetti' to my romantic wedding scene.

Sigh ... and in 3 weeks I gotta do this all again in reverse ...

1 comment:

  1. I have found that the family is very enthusiastic about putting up the tree but when January comes along, its Daddy that gets stuck with the take-down process.