Yaaawwwwwwnnnnnn

Wellllll .... I was planning to give the ole blog a bit of an overhaul in the looks department and hopefully start today off with a sparkling new effort that would get me to post a little bit more frequency ... you know spruce the place up a bit...
And then ... the dog spent a good chunk of last night blowing chunks ... which of course had me awake the whole night either cleaning up dog yak or waiting for the next eruption of the dog yak ...
All this to say, "I Am Friggin' Tired" !!!!!!!   ......... 
And so, all my 'grand schemes' are gonna have to wait until tomorrow.

I'll Have That With Some Fava Beans And A Nice Chianti ...

There is just no end to the slap-happy source known as 
'the weird shit":
Kentucky Man: I was Forced To Eat My Own Beard



Watch the video ....
I am shocked because there is absolutely, (I'll even say it again) absolutely nothing that I could add as a comment that would do justice, in any way, to the sheer, jaw-dropping, "Holy-Shit"-ness of the video.  There's really no point in commenting on what went on in the video/story (Dude forced to eat his own beard 'cause he's suspected to be a lawnmower shyster) ... It's the guy in the story ... and because of the story ...
That, my friends was a DIY 'stereotype' in a box.  I don't think that I have ever seen someone fulfill a stereotype so perfectly ... It was 'beautiful'.  It's almost one of those once-in-a-lifetime events ... Like seeing the statue of David or a flawless diamond... I'm getting all misty ...

You Thought Your Kids Had Problems ...

You know, I gotta say that when I watched this for the first time I got a serious case of the chills, and in the 'no way near a good' way...
This freaky kid even puts on a pseudo English accent... In general, I'm all for going whole hog into what you really like/love but, jumpin' Jesus on a pogo stick, show a smidgeon of restraint (if not restraint, how about a sliver of a desire to get laid).
Side note: Where could this guy be getting all the cash necessary to fund his 'little' obsession.

Also what in the hell does anyone get this guy for Christmas ... 
"Hey son here's a ..."
"Got it."
"How 'bout ..."
"Got it"
"Ya but, maybe ..."
"Pfft, Got that last year."
Sigh ...
"There's always cash ..."

And The Winner (Weiner) Is ...

Don't ever let it be said that I don't follow through (or tell my wife).


Middlebury wins the 2010 Quidditch World Cup.

Welcome back Mr. Pott-tter ...

Bazinga !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, we have hit the geek motherload ... BooYa!!!




















Folks I am tired ...

And We Only Get Free Donuts

This one encompasses the whole rainbow from 'Fucking WOW' to 'Holy Crap, That's just Fucking Scary'.


Dealership Offers Free Guns For Truck Buyers

I've gotta be completely honest and say that Yes, getting a free AK-47 assault rifle with my new pick-up purchase is one helluva cool promotion (Yay).  Seriously, a freakin' AK-47.  I'm pretty hard pressed to think of something that would bump up the awesomness factor that doesn't involve massive amounts of cash, a tiger and/or a hooker.


ON THE OTHER HAND, this dealer is in Florida ... F-L-O-R-I-D-A ... and ... well ... It's easy just to say, "Enough said."  Buuuttt ...
This may seem like I'm disparaging the all the fine folks of the whole state but ... well ... let me just say that I think that there's some sort of saying that talks of how all the nuts run down and collect in Florida.  
I, again, know that I hail from the land of the gun restrictions but never the less, I honestly can't see any worthwhile reason why the gun racks of Florida trucks would need an influx of AK-47s( or anywhere to be frank ... sir ).  The only thing that I can think of is maybe the AK-47 is the one rifle that has someway, somehow eluded the avid Floridian truck and gun collector ... and the truck dealer is just being helpful.

Seriously ...?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Yup ... Yup ... Yup ...Yup ... Yup ... Yup ... Yup ... Yup ... Yup ... You got it ... Yup
The International Quidditch Association

Is there a better advertisement for people who don't want to get laid ... it's like the anti e-harmony ... it's played by running around with a broom between your legs to simulate flying.  I don't think that there could be any incarnation of the books that could in any way be any geekier. (3 anys and counting) I'm thinking ...
Oh, and there's a rulebook and a World Cup ... Ooooo and it's in 3 days.
Mind is blown ...

Nevermind The Animals ...

Holy Crap ... 
Chicken Little here ... and I'm thinking that, as a species, our days are pretty much numbered.  As I've clearly pointed in previous posts Mother Nature is out to get us.  In an even scarier turn of events, the genius scientists seem to be on the fast track to inventing robots(artificial beings, etc.) that will fit right into the first wave of the upcoming robot apocalypse.  Here's a little look-see:


Robot Identifies Human Flesh As Bacon

We now gotta figure out how to keep one eye on Fluffy and the other one on the microwave ...

Post Halloween Monday

I'm currently in a pumpkin and sugar induce haze. I think that the most that I can manage today are a few videos and movie trailers.

Blitz exclusive trailer - certificate 15 @ Yahoo! Video

Another movie that I don't know if I'll get to see but hey, it still looks cool ...



This helps explain all the movies that I was too much of a chicken shit to watch ...




Yeeeesssss, I know that I should have posted this before Halloween so that I could give all you folks out there a handy, no-mess method for carving your jack-o-lantern.


This is all you need to see to live in fear of the future ...

Cannon Fires Shoe Directly Into Kid's Face - Watch more Funny Videos

You Were Warned ...

This is soooooo definitely sign number 2 ( When the time comes I may even bump it up to being the main sign that was the cause of the apocalypse).

Haarrrruuuummmmpppppp!!!!!!!!

Weeeelllllll, 
Last Friday my computer decided to crap itself into oblivion (I'm listing toward the hyperbole this mornin').  It got the shakes and googly eyes and then just shut down with a "Please insert the Windows CD to restore everything" kinda 'meany' screen. 
I then got the sweats ...
You know, being 43 yr. old crusty guy, I like to tell myself that I'm more in touch with the old ways, the ways that like to build stuff out of wood and duct tape.  The ways that drive extra Kilometers out of the way to save a penny-a-liter on gas.  
I've even started to integrate a whole lot of "Those damn kids" and " Hey you, get off my lawn" into my daily life.  I honestly never really saw myself as someone who was greatly dependent on "The Technology"... (computer, Blackberry and iPod Touch notwithstanding)  I was livin' it old school in suburbia.
Then one of the babies died ...
Holy crap, what a downer, I wasn't so much just dipping my toes into the lake, as much as kinda treading water. Hello, my name is Edfoot, and we have a problem ...
Jumpin' Jesus on a pogo stick ... The next few days were spent with loading and reloading, some crying, some cursing and some necessary hugging.  We were checking on pictures, songs, bookmarks, recipes and documents, and to varying degrees some were lost for good.  It's really a swift kick in the johnson all wrapped up with a wake up call when something like this happens.  And at the end of the day, in retrospect, it was a relatively minor occurrence.  The computer is back up and running and except for a few items here and there, most of the important stuff was recovered but man what could have been ... It really makes you see how much of our lives we plunk on to this 'machine' and how we gotta be a little bit more diligent in protecting the important stuff.
Or maybe we should just print the photos, write out the recipes, print out the documents, and realize that, in this instance, being backed up is a wonderful thing.


P.S.  I was trying out this new picture for the Blog Title and deciding whether I really liked it or not buuutttt since I've lost the old ones, we're kinda stuck with it for now.

It's I'm Feeling Weird Day

Now that you've seen it, I'm guessing you're thinking "What's wrong with him?!?"
My only answer is that I saw this a while back and had it kicking around in my bookmarks waiting to think of something I could say about it.  What the hell can you say about it ...
It's from a movie "Female Ninja Magic Chronicles 3" and here's a review I found on IMDb:


Many films fail as a whole yet must be seen for a few creative elements. This is truer for the horror and exploitation genres where a cool death scene or a nasty rape scene can make an otherwise bland flick. Female Ninja Magic Chronicles 3 (supposedly the best of the series, but I'll never know because I won't bother trying to track down the rest) has a really cool gimmick, but even though the rest of the film is filled with softcore sex, a wacky plot, and gay jokes, the magic tricks are all you'll remember.

An aging ruler with no male heir can't get an erection anymore. To combat this, a group of female ninjas are tasked with getting this sacred text of sexual positions from a guy who doesn't want to give it up, thinking it will help Ol' Limpy. Woo hoo, that's pretty wacky in and of itself, but WAIT! THERE'S MORE! The female ninjas each used different magic tricks. One could make her hair grow and strangle people plus she shot silk webbing out of her love canal. One had acid breast milk that melted a guy. One had poison soap bubbles, aka "Vagina Bubbles From Hell." Plus the female ninjas can talk to each other over distances using ECHO. Wow! Ya don't say...

Anyway, aside from the magic tricks the sex scenes are dull, the storyline is nonsensical and meandering, and all in all it's a just plain stupid movie. Of course, it still gets my recommendation.


Yes , you heard/read/saw it right ... Poison Vagina Bubbles...How do you top that for weirdness? ...

Be Scared ... Continued

I can't keep up ...

Jumping barracuda injures kayaker off Florida Keys

Ya, Ya, Ya, Sure ... Crazy Talk ... That's it ...

I'm telling ya ... the signs are doing nothing but screaming out ... Whenever I get finished with writing this blog, there's gonna be a crapload of evidence (Ok, less evidency type stuff and more ranty, opinionated stuff) left that is gonna be a glaring slap in the face ... As I've said before ...(Dum Dum Dum and dramatic pause)


The animals have it in for us or The animals are plotting our downfall.


Seriously ... read these latest 2 headlines and stories:
Mountain Goat Suspected In Death Of US Hiker
Car-Eating Rabbits Invade Denver Airport
Call me crazy will ya ... HA ... HA
We'll all rue the day I say ... rue it ... (cue the crazy cackling old guy laughter)

"Cops" International

This is another Wow video for an advance Lazy Friday.

I wish that I understood what the commentators were saying.  They sounded a little like auctioneers on drugs...

Here's Number 3

It's absolutely amazing what the human being will dream up to: beat boredom, push the limits or fuck with the system. Now they're messing with chocolate...
Sniffing Cocoa At The International Chefs Congress In NYC
It's a long and windy story but the ending bits of it talk about how these guys came up with a little device that that flicks powdered chocolate and other flavours up your nose to "enhance the chocolate experience".  For the most part, I'm on board with those who want to reinvent the wheel, but in this instance, just fucking each the shit ... it's chocolate, it's not brussel sprouts!  I'm fairly certain that chocolate will still get eaten with enough gusto that an enhancement won't ever really be necessary. What's friggin' next: Enhance your Calamari experience ... snort some squid!

Hey Art, Getta Load Of This

Here's me trying to stay on the cutting edge of what's new and fresh in the music industry ...
Enjoy :



Now try and wipe that goofy WTF look off your face.

Look What Just Wandered In

MMMMMmmmmm.  NumNums for everyone ....
Mechanically Separated Poultry

Uh oh, I seem on a food related streak ... I wonder what number 3 is gonna be?

A Picture Is Worth 1000 Dry Heaves

I first saw this story last week ( in two versions even...)
Man Finds Mouse Embedded In Loaf Of Bread and Oh Look: There's A Mouse In My Bread
I'll just leave you with the picture ... after that there'll probably be no real need to actually read the story.



Just makin' a Mousekasandwich ...

State Of The Union Thingy

Ok, so here we are, it's Wednesday October the 6, and I feeling the urge to recap or something:
In the minor department, last night I watched "Iron Man 2". I'm usually pretty good for keeping on top of all the latest movies (that I want to see) when they come out.  In this instance I'll blame either The Wife or the kids.  They obviously must have somehow kept me busy on the particular Friday night that my little gaggle of friends went out to see the movie.  Now that I've seen it, all I can say is "meh".  I'm guessing that for a comic book action movie, it would probably be a good idea to have a bunch of that stuff called 'ACTION'.  I'm just sayin'...


Today, the final chapter in the basement saga ended...the carpet got cleaned (yeah I know...anticlimactic). WooHoo 3 months later and I now have my basement back.  Once it got started, everything rolled along pretty quickly and efficiently and that was awesome.  But ... I gotta say one thing ... painters suck.  (I have no problem saying that 'cause I used to be one) First off, the job from beginning to end wasn't large nor difficult (I even considered doing it myself) it wasn't gonna take any of the pros a very long time.  All the other trade did pretty decent work ... then there's the painters.  I could easily tell that their work was of the 'lets do the absolute minimum we can get away with' kind.  Thanks assholes...  I gotta say that I'm really not interested in having the same painters come back to fix their crap so all I can do is tell the insurance company to not pay them and then redo the work myself.  The basement floods and no matter what, I end up repainting the friggin' thing.  It's amazing that people wonder why I'm such a crabby bastard.


I'm gonna have to start going Halloween costume shopping with the kids soon. That's basically comprised of them asking for something and me saying "No, they don't make kind of Halloween costume" about 47 times in a row until one of them caves and gets something that they don't really, really want to be...and then I gotta buy candy.


On the up side, I am looking forward to this weekends deep fry-o-licious event known as Thanksgiving (I'm Canadian for those of you playing the home version).  The kids have a 4-day weekend (Man, when I was a kid, we had to do Thanksgiving walking backwards uphill with a drunk family member ... 4 days ... pampered little ...)