Happy DecJanFebemberary

Whhhoooo, I am one procrastinating motherfucker!!!!


There I was sitting at Christmas dinner thinking "Hey, I need to post something on my blog ..." and you know, the Trypyophan kicked in so I fell asleep.  And well I had at least one solid week of turkey leftovers and, and, and that made me really, really sleepy for ... ummm ... a very, very, very long time ... and it was the infusion of Valentine's chocolate that woke me from my slumber. You know, it was a Sleeping Beauty kind of thing, except I'm not a princess and there wasn't any kissing and stuff ...


So, I'm back ...


Excuse #2 I have been shoveling soooooooo much snow and have been so tired that my little brain couldn't think of anything to say that wasn't snow removal related ...


Excuse #3 New Xbox trumps old computer ...


Excuse #4 ... I got nothin'


Excuse #5 My rap career started to take off ...


Excuse #6 I am slightly lazy ... OK more than slightly ...


The procrastinator in me told me to tell you that I will try harder tomorrow ... 

What I Did On My Winter Evening

Let us see ... hmmm ...ah, yes ... here we go ...


It was a dark and stormy night ... and I finally managed to wrestle the friggin' huge 'real Christmas tree' into the house and got it placed in the living room.  Wrestle being the key word.  Hoooo crap, that thing was heavy.  We went for the 'cultivated', more filled in tree instead of the wild variety'cause everyone agreed that it was 'prettier'. (also more tree for the buck, I'll admit)
More wood = more weight.  It felt like trying to carry a feisty, pine scented fat-chick over the threshold ...
When we picked out the tree, on the weekend, it looked like a beautiful, normal sized, awesome (the kids loved it) perfect tree.  Sitting in my living room, it's fucking freakishly huge ... In the dark, it kinda looks like some sort of bigfoot hiding out in the corner waiting to pounce (that could be just me after having to fight with it).
First it was the lights.  You know, one of the practical things about having a fake tree is that after a while you get to know exactly how many strings of lights, garland and etc. are gonna go on the tree because, lets face it, nothing size-wise changes from one year to the next.  My puzzler definitely got puzzled trying to figure out where all the 8 strings of lights were gonna go on my new super-sized monster tree.
Then I had to decorate the 'thing'.  Ok, no ... the family and I decorated it ... except that I put all the stuff on the top half of the tree 'cause nobody else can reach that high. And yes, there I was, standing tippy-toed (emphasis on the tippy) on a step ladder hugging the pine scented fat-chick trying to wrap a wonderful necklace of ribbon around its lovely pine-sap-sticky neck, over and over again.


It all seems like you have a nice moderate amount of decorations when you're bringing up the boxes from their hiding places in the basement buuuttt ... once they are opened and spread out all over the living room ... it's easy to realize that " shit be way outta control " and " fuck we've got way too much of this shit".  For some reason 2 trips with boxes of decorations coming up from the basement seems to turn into 4 trips in returning said empty boxes and packages back down into the basement.


Another thing that crazy huge trees have is crazy huge amounts of pine needles that fall off at the slightest touch.  The whole dragging it through the front door thing added like a foot of 'confetti' to my romantic wedding scene.


Sigh ... and in 3 weeks I gotta do this all again in reverse ...

BAHHHHH Hummerbug ....

Here's a little sumpin' sumpin' to put you deep into the holiday spirit ... Or kill any and all of it that has been free-ranging around in you ...





OOOOooooOOOO ... The cockles are warming ...

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

...aaaannnndddd to finish you right off ...

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Yaaawwwwwwnnnnnn

Wellllll .... I was planning to give the ole blog a bit of an overhaul in the looks department and hopefully start today off with a sparkling new effort that would get me to post a little bit more frequency ... you know spruce the place up a bit...
And then ... the dog spent a good chunk of last night blowing chunks ... which of course had me awake the whole night either cleaning up dog yak or waiting for the next eruption of the dog yak ...
All this to say, "I Am Friggin' Tired" !!!!!!!   ......... 
And so, all my 'grand schemes' are gonna have to wait until tomorrow.

I'll Have That With Some Fava Beans And A Nice Chianti ...

There is just no end to the slap-happy source known as 
'the weird shit":
Kentucky Man: I was Forced To Eat My Own Beard



Watch the video ....
I am shocked because there is absolutely, (I'll even say it again) absolutely nothing that I could add as a comment that would do justice, in any way, to the sheer, jaw-dropping, "Holy-Shit"-ness of the video.  There's really no point in commenting on what went on in the video/story (Dude forced to eat his own beard 'cause he's suspected to be a lawnmower shyster) ... It's the guy in the story ... and because of the story ...
That, my friends was a DIY 'stereotype' in a box.  I don't think that I have ever seen someone fulfill a stereotype so perfectly ... It was 'beautiful'.  It's almost one of those once-in-a-lifetime events ... Like seeing the statue of David or a flawless diamond... I'm getting all misty ...

You Thought Your Kids Had Problems ...

You know, I gotta say that when I watched this for the first time I got a serious case of the chills, and in the 'no way near a good' way...
This freaky kid even puts on a pseudo English accent... In general, I'm all for going whole hog into what you really like/love but, jumpin' Jesus on a pogo stick, show a smidgeon of restraint (if not restraint, how about a sliver of a desire to get laid).
Side note: Where could this guy be getting all the cash necessary to fund his 'little' obsession.

Also what in the hell does anyone get this guy for Christmas ... 
"Hey son here's a ..."
"Got it."
"How 'bout ..."
"Got it"
"Ya but, maybe ..."
"Pfft, Got that last year."
Sigh ...
"There's always cash ..."

And The Winner (Weiner) Is ...

Don't ever let it be said that I don't follow through (or tell my wife).


Middlebury wins the 2010 Quidditch World Cup.

Welcome back Mr. Pott-tter ...

Bazinga !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, we have hit the geek motherload ... BooYa!!!




















Folks I am tired ...